Lockdown Limbo

I don’t think any of us thought Coronavirus was going to be THIS BAD. I remember hearing about it in January time and just thinking it’s one of those things that won’t affect us. However working in an airport, i saw more and more people wearing masks, gloves and developing a frenzy with hand sanitiser. I had a trip to Budapest with the girls and noticed even myself becoming more aware of what i was touching and cleaning. When Boris Johnson told us the news about the whole country going into lockdown i genuinely didn’t know how to feel. Is this even real? Orrrr are we playing a part in the film Contagion?? (This film is the exact same plot as Coronavirus which is mental). All bars, cafes & shops shut. Social distance queuing outside of Asda. Not seeing anyone i care about for the foreseeable. It’s all extremely weird.

I ended up being off work for 4 weeks in total. Anxiety through the roof and not fully understanding what’s going on i tried settling into a different type of ‘life’. Now..apart from the obvious..not seeing my loved ones and going out drinking coffee on my days off…i have actually found lockdown NOT TOO BAD. Some of the things i have managed to do so far:

  • Paint my radiators
  • Finish a 1000 piece jigsaw
  • Completely gut and tidy my spare bedroom
  • Throw away 3 bin bags of old clothes
  • Keep a lockdown diary
  • Workout EVERY SINGLE DAY. Yes every day. I’m extremely proud of this one
  • Finish 4 books (currently half way through the 5th)
  • Clean my entire house around 70 times
  • De-weed the garden & paint the fences
  • Drink a minimum of 7 brews a day. I am vvvery thankful for my gifted coffee machine 😉
  • Yoga, meditation & daily walks

Now do NOT get me wrong. Lockdown has not been easy on my mental health. I have had a grand total of 4 very very low days, which out of 4 weeks..i’ll take.Here’s a few things i am REALLY missing.

  • My family and friends
  • Proper Costa and Pret vanilla lattes
  • Parkrun & breakfast butties on saturday mornings
  • Spending £20 on drunk McDonalds
  • MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND AWAY 😦
  • Moaning about how tired i am to my work colleagues
  • Cuddles/Snugs on the sofa
  • Just ‘nipping’ to the shop
  • Having my nails done
  • Laughing with humans. Houseparty and phone calls are good, but it’s not THE SAME 😦

I think lockdown has been different for every single person but we have all been in it together. I am alone in my lockdown (apart from the cat obviously who has now become my entire world <3) yet my friends and family have not made me feel like i am alone. I really miss that actual human contact but i know this won’t last forever. Some days it’s hard for me to see it like that and those are the days i stay in bed late, have a good cry to myself sat on the front room floor and have zero motivation to do anything other than eat an entire easter egg with a cup of tea. But i know it’s okay to have days like that!! Other days i am smashing my to do list and on top of the world. It’s all about balance haha!!

I doubt i will go though anything like this again in my lifetime. Coronavirus is SCARY. It’s awful and every time i read/watch the news i am forever grateful for the situation i and my family & friends are in. It’s okay if i don’t feel ‘normal’ i don’t think anybody does right now. But hopefully soon life can slowly but surely get back to that ‘normal’. Whatever that might actually be.

 

 

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